Thursday, January 5, 2012

today's gonna be a good day

mom & me


So I'll just hit you with it straight off...
it was 16 years ago today that my mom died.
She was only 44 years old... thanks cancer.
I was 24 and it 
was 
rough. 
Mom and I were very close.
A day didn't go by that I didn't see my mom
or at least talk to her.
She was an amazing woman. 
Loved by everyone.
When I would meet someone and they would discover that
I am "Barb's daughter"
their eyes would light up
and they would expect great things from me.
After mom died, this day was very hard for me
and it only got worse as the years passed.
I started allowing myself to be sad on this one day.
I would cry.. which is good...
but I would curl up and be miserable.
I would mope and feel sorry for myself...
which is maybe not so good.
And I wouldn't tell anyone why.
Every year this day was worse
because I let it be worse.
I started planning on it being worse.
I would count on it being a bad day.
Last year was no exception.
I got up 
saw everyone off for the day
and crawled back into bed
ready to wallow.
When my cell phone rang, I let it go to voice mail.
Then the house phone rang.
I figured someone must be trying to get through to me
so I checked the message.
It was the school nurse.
My daughter had fainted at school.
She was having a hard time regaining consciousness.
The ambulance was on it's way.
......
The first lesson I learned that day was that I am completely
utterly
useless 
in an emergency situation.
I couldn't remember how to dial a number on my phone
and we are talking about one button.
Thank goodness Marty was working close by.
He picked me up and we drove to the hospital
with me freaking out the entire time.
There were two ladies there from the school with my daughter
and they stayed there
sitting in the waiting room praying for my girl
and comforting me because I was a basket case.
To make a long story short...
she's ok.
We spent 5 hellish hours doing tests and x-rays 
and I think I lost 5 pounds that day
but my beautiful girl is just fine.





The second lesson I learned that day was that I should be 
celebrating every day and be thankful for what I have 
instead of feeling sorry for myself for what I have lost.
I was able to spend 24 years with an amazing mother 
and I'm blessed with an equally amazing daughter. 
How lucky am I?!
So now I'm going to let today be a good day.
I'm planning on today being fabulous.

I'm planning on everyday being fabulous.

I hope your day is fabulous too.

7 comments:

  1. Great article, very positive. I enjoyed this one.

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  2. You are awesome :) I too know about loosing someone and letting it take the joy out of things. I lost my mother-in-law a few years back, and I was so lucky to have loved her like a mother, and she too was an amazing lady. Her and I used to spend time together in the winter planning our gardens, then we would go out together in the spring to buy our plants. I can honestly say I have not really gardened since, I have not allowed myself that joy. Thank you for your message today, I need to plan my garden this year!

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  3. lovely post, enjoyed reading itthanks for sharing

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  4. On the morning after attending a funeral of a friend...this was something I needed to read...thanks for sharing

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  5. We lost my brother to cystic fibrosis when he was just 21 years old. While it was hard to lose a brother, it was harder to watch my parents lose their son. In 2007, we lost my mother-in-law to complications of alzheimer's. It's never easy--but our loved ones wouldn't want to 'burden' us with their passing. They'd want us to live our lives to the fullest, as they would've done. Hard way to learn a lesson, but I'm glad your daughter is ok! ♥

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  6. Sadly it often takes a near tragedy to shake us up. What a mixed blessing. Not to dismiss the incredible loss you feel for your mother but know she lives on through you and your beautiful daughter. Alessa (and Tammie)

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  7. A great post, so glad it was nothing serious with your daughter. Living a life of joy will be a testament to your mother's love and parenting. (((hugs)))

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